Keeping it real

(Shake #9: Life is unscripted & meant to be self written)
It's the way of a blogger, to release via post... so, here I go ... today, I am a pressure cooker & in need of releasing some steam.  I am so annoyed by constant pain.  I know things happen for a reason, but for the love of life, I have no idea what I did for karma to get me back like this. At first I thought it was a way for me to slow down, take life a little less serious & quit going so much ... but now I'm wondering if it's a ploy to test the way I deal with stressful situations (just so you guys know, I'm failing miserably lately). My patience is running thin, my psyche has taken a big hit & my husband is my punching bag (not physically, luckily).  It's the results I was trying to avoid, but 6+ weeks into the injury & 4+ weeks post surgery - I am struggling. I don't typically compare myself to anyone, but right now - thinking of others dealing with much worse situations makes me humble & embarrassed to let this get to me. There are so many other things far worse than my petty little bum foot - some wonderful people I know have missing limbs & they're rockin' it out all day, every day like it's no big deal.  Some people I know have children that they wish they could see have a broken foot (not literally, but you know ... children that they wish could just up & walk & live life recklessly & foolishly - like kids do).  I clearly battle self pity parties, for sure ... and often times I quickly escape my pity parties unscathed.  However, the fact that I look at my 1 year old son ... and realize that even he knows he has to bring me my metal legs (crutches) in order for me to do anything for him, is kinda sad to me.  He (Mr. Independant himself) grunts to pick up the crutches & struggles to bring them over to me (goodness, don't try to help him, he'll show you he means business when he wants to do something by himself) ... then once he hands them to me, he'll motion for me to stand up by squatting & standing straight up repeatedly (it's actually really cute to witness, but also sad because he knows that's the only way Mom can get around).  I know ... I need to get it together ... it isn't that bad (trust me, I get that) but you have to remember that I've never been faced with a challenge like this, so please, let me express my frustration without shunning me.  I don't like taking meds repeatedly & extensively but in order to have little discomfort, I have to pop meds often.  I don't dig that.  I am very much ready to rid myself of necessary medication & rid myself of these crutches & get my tennis shoes out & take this show on the road.  I have never wanted to run so bad in my whole life.  Mark my words, once I'm able to get back in shoes & run ... I will run like a big, bad monster is chasing me ... & I may even flare my arms like a loon, scream like a wild man & possibly even skip occasionally.  So, if you see me doing this ... just clap & give me a thumbs up OR join me ... it'll be fun.  As for now, I'm going to pop another narcotic & an ibuprofen & wait til it kicks in - then I can sleep. Ta Ta for now.